Friday 23 October 2015

The Chronicle of Isaac - On More Equal Footing

Greeting friends!

The weather grows colder. I feel that I have some time to put down some words for glory and prosperity. Since my last letter a few things have changed other than the weather. I started at a new daycare "Down of Town". There are quite a lot of other normal sized people with many less Giants than I am used to. They even have properly sized tables and chairs and every day I am greeted with hugs and snacks. The Fuzzy Giant has informed me that I am not able to "trade parents" or "be adopted by the daycare workers", but I think that he is just trying to secure his job.

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This is how the 3 of us would travel Down of Town for daycare

Alice has started "Big Kid School". She rides the big yellow bus which I am quite excited about every time we see it. Three days of the week The Fuzzy Giant and I journey to this Big Kid School and pick up Alice from After Care. She is forced to bring her own snacks from home and I don't think that she is greeted with a hug every time she enters. She's often in my thoughts.

I have noticed a change in Alice. Ever since school started she plays with me and doesn't always try to remove the toys that I am holding. There's even been a change in The Giants - they have been muttering "attempted fratricide" a lot less.

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We are taking the dollies for a walk. When I get tired I climb into the wagon and request a pull
Having said that, I'm also better on my feet and stronger all the time. I don't do it often, but I can pin Alice down and pull her hair to incapacitate her. I usually find I don't need to take it to this extreme, and usually only resort to hitting her on head and or pulling her hair. The Fuzzy Giant has a rule: if you can reach your sibling, you are too close.

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I love my sister very much, even when she doesn't give me personal space
The Giants have been nervous about how many words that I have, so I decided to gain a whole bunch just before a "milestone". I have words like truck, car, bus, dog, bread, milk, please, thank you, balloon, beluga, and dooooooooor! (It is from a song in Frozen). Although I also have the words "yes" and "no", I prefer to bow respectfully for "yes" and glare disrespectfully for "no".

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I enjoy dressing up as a leaf pirate with a hat eye patch. Arrr!

Another thing that I still enjoy is waking up in the night at least once. I know a lot of the other normal sized people don't put in the effort, but I feel that it is worth it. I think that The Giants do as well. You can tell that I've done a good job when The Giants are walking into walls, repeating themselves, and complaining about their brains being "fuzzy" and "cloudy".

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I believe Alice and The Food Giant are experiencing an earth quake
Now I must be off. I must practice my nighttime cry to make sure that it conveys the proper emotional gravity.

Yours always,
Isaac

Sunday 2 August 2015

The Chronicle of Isaac - THAT

Greeting friends!

I find that I do not often have time to compose my thoughts, so please forgive me. This is a busy time in which we live. I often find myself traveling to strange lands such as The Pad of Splash or The Ground of Play. Travel is often done in my chariot pulled by a trusty Giant or in a seat where I control the brakes and sounding bell. I often inform the pathland bunnies that I have come with a "THAT!" or "DAT!". They rejoice by running into the shrubbery and doing whatever bunnies do when they see an Isaac sized human controlling a large bicycle.

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I'm quite concerned The Fuzzy Giant is not paying attention to where we are headed. I shall ring the bell to alert the others.
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The first step of going down a slide is to climb to the top. One stair at a time.

I have taken up the sport of "basket ball" and enjoy bouncing a ball. If I am being carried by The Fuzzy Giant I enjoy throwing the ball towards the ground where it bounces up to me and can be caught again by The Giant to be handed back to me for another round. This amuses me greatly. In times that The Giants have forgotten to bring a ball to a park, I have been known to approach the local sport player and join in with a quick game. They were quite impressed with my ball handling and passing abilities. True story.

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I have been approached from this "Harlem" team to join them. I will not.
I am enjoying this thing that The Giants call "running". I often employ it when I know I will soon be stopped for doing something, such as throwing a toothbrush into the toilet. It is a game, which I know I will win someday.

A set of games that I have mixed emotions about are the ones lead by my sister. They include:
  • Knock Down Your Brother
  • Sit On Your Brother
  • Take A Toy Away From Your Brother That He Was Enjoying Very Much
I do not relish these.

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Working together to build a blockier future.
The Giants continue to press me to speak more words. I do not understand the need since I can be understood with my vocabulary of "dat", "that", "tthat", "daat", "ba", and of course "dthat". I know what I mean and The Giants can usually get it in three guesses. I understand that my sister was speaking Spanish by this age. However, I do not believe that she was able to "dunk" basketballs.

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Here the Food Giant is pushing me on "dat" while we watch as the other children splash in the "dat".
Farewell until our next meeting!
Isaac 

Saturday 30 May 2015

Recovered Giant Artifact #54 - I Dreamed a Dream

Item: ink on coffee and tear stained paper
Recovery date: 2015-05-30
Analysis:  Appears to be a modification of "I Dreamed a Dream" is a song from Les Misérables.

There was a time when kids slept long
When their voices were soft
And their words babbling
There was a time when love was quiet
And the world was a song
And the song was Raffi
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in sleep gone by
When hope was high
And sleep worth having
I dreamed that love would never cry
I dreamed that kids would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no snuggles to be paid
No song unsung, no hot beverages untasted

But the children come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your sleep apart
As they turn your dream to awake

He slept a year by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took his childhood with me for a ride
But he wasn't gone when morning came

And still I dream he'll sleep without me
That we will sleep the nights in our rooms
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my sleep would be
So different from this fog I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now cries have killed the dream I was dreaming

Tuesday 26 May 2015

From the desk of Alice - Wisdom from the ripe old age of 3.5

My Dearest friends,

It has been far too long since I have last written you. Many things have happened, but alas it is difficult for me to recall them all in detail. I have taken The Giants on many adventures and my training of them seems to be a Sisyphean task.

Since it's been so challenging for me to have time to sit down and write, I've enlisted The Fuzzy Giant to transcribe some of my thoughts so that they can be as a beacon of light of future generations. Here are some enlightened thoughts that I was conveying the other day. Alas he was a poor archivist and only was able to capture the beginning.
I saw Maleficent two and a half times and the scary part at the end she doesn't change back into a dragon at the end and then we ate ham-burr-ers and Aurora went and then I have streamers on my bike and one fell off because it was windy and then we threw it in the garbage and I had my face painted at the tulip festival and next time I see Aunty Valerie I can call her Rose because she calls me Alicio but Isaac can't do that because he's a baby and he knocks over my towers even when I say "NO ISAAC NO" he does and then I say "DOUBLE TIMEOUT" and then I go and play with my special jewelery and...
Trust me, that was but a fraction of my thoughts. I really must get a voice recorder.

Rather than writing a thousand words to describe some of my adventures, I thought that I would do "an almost year in review" with pictures instead, perhaps slightly out of order.

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Vertical cannot contain my greatness. I must go horizontal
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It is important to patrol the neighbourhood in style
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It's important to keep your friends close...
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This is me instructing The Fuzzy Giant in the proper art of fancy running
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If you can get the angle just right, the swing will detach and transform into a robot
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Apparently this is how The Giants caught their food in the Before Times
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Swing until the set rolls
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Instructing Isaac in the formal art of napping with stuffies
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If you snuggle your pumpkin just right, it may turn into a carriage
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OR A MONSTER TO EAT YOU
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Isaac witnessing the true power of my yell. He may have filled his pants
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One small step for Alice. One giant leap for Alice-kind
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In this picture I am plotting revenge on The Giants for The Incident Involving No Cookies
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Most people don't realize that you need to ride a luck dragon behind the nostrils
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The movie star shot with the wind in your hair? This.
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The layout of rocks was all wrong. I was attempting to fix it by moving some into the river
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I was quite disappointed that The Giants wanted to share my single round piece
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"You see that island over there Giant? Not anymore! Bow before my awesome power!"
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This is where I made Lego Santa cry. I'm proud of that moment.
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They asked why I had to climb that stone elephant? BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.
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I clearly have a heightened sense of safety with respect to the ocean. It was both cold and wet. I must be carried
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You can see that I am annoyed that The Giants have forgotten I am the sole center of attention. They paid for it later, at great cost
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This is called "Grocery Store Gothic" and hangs in the Louvre
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Demonstrating to The Giants proper sun glasses technique
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A fairy dress, pink tutu, hat and novelty sunglasses. It's the latest in Milan
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Similar look, different accessories. As you do.
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I don't know how many times I told The Food Giant: bend your legs. Good Giants are so hard to find these days
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Again it was up to me to explain the dangers of the sea
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"And you shall fold my bed sheets like this. No, I don't care if you can't walk. Get it done!"
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I was told that they had cakes of pan served with the reduced blood of the maple tree.
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I toured with Cirque du Soleil for a season as a bubble blower. The cubic ones are the most difficult
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Always test to see if you would be successful with outrunning your Giant in case of bear or such like attacks
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I was attempting face paint for camouflage. Perhaps not my best first attempt
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When vacuuming, always wear the head of a robot to show the vacuum you mean business
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If caught by paparazzi, never make a nice smile
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This was my first day of play school. I was very excited to regularly spread my wisdom to new Giants. Just in case the current ones don't work out
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When finding a star with your name, own it.

Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice

Wednesday 25 March 2015

The Chronicle of Isaac - Once Around the Sun

Greetings!

My friends, although I do not find the time to write much, I think of you often. I regularly insist that The Giants write down my words to send to you, but in their haste they just write "Ba ba ba!" or "Mmmmm Mmmmm". It is not their fault and I place no blame upon them. They are often busy with Alice and myself.

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It is important to sample the local wares, including sand.
I have been able to master much since I last wrote you. I am quite skilled in "cruising" around the furniture to find the things that bring joy to my heart. Other than my sister and The Giants, all of which I hold dear, I find myself spending my leisure time either banging on something or using something with buttons. The Fuzzy Giant often looks lost so I travel over to the Bin of Things and search for my trusty tambourine and play him a ditty to distract him from the certainty that he shortly will be wiping my bum. One of my favourite instruments is a heavy pot lid and a small metal ladle. There is something invigorating about the repeated clash of steel on steel.

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Time to get the bluegrass band back together
Breaking bread with others can be a solemn time, filled with traditions. I have introduced the Ceremony of Offerings to the Floor Gods. Before starting to eat, I hold an offering of food in my hand, extend my arm from the side of my highseat and release the food. Long may the provisions bring strength and wisdom to the floor and let it forever support us. Ababy. The Giants play their part in the ceremony when they sweep and wipe up the offerings.

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Traveling by sled is a thrill
One of the many ways which Alice and I have kept The Giants occupied is that we have spent a great deal of time trying to get sick. Alice is fortunate that she can go to playschool and get exposure to so many others, while I am limited so I must try to lick or put things in my mouth. Oftentimes Alice is generous and makes a conscience effort to share her cold with me. I pay it forward to The Giants. Just the other week I sneezed directly in The Fuzzy Giant's mouth while he was singing to me. Luckily the cold caught right away so I only had to do that once. I cannot really remember a time in which someone wasn't sick in this homestead. I would provide more details but there are some horrors that should not be written.

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This Giant gives the best tickles
I oftentimes see a portal open that should normally be closed. Sometimes it leads into one of the rooms with the sleeping platforms, others into the room of porcelain and water. I am always thrilled to go and explore and I crawl with a rapid "fwap fwap fwap" of my palms against the floor.  This seems to alert The Giants because time and again they swoop in and scoop me up. I get quite frustrated with repeatedly being stopped just as I near my goal.

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Oooooh! Something that I'm not supposed to touch. Or rip off the wall. Again.
Another activity that I have been enjoying of late is the wanton destruction of simple foam based architecture. The Fuzzy Giant, and sometimes Alice, will construct a tower of blocks. As they marvel at their work they will frequently remark "It would be a shame if something happened to my tower...". I take that to be my cue to test how strong their tower actually is. To date it has never been very strong, as I topple it in seconds. At this they usually cry out "Oh no!" and then the process repeats. I am starting to question how much trust I should put in them if they are unable to build even a simple structure that will withstand a little abuse.

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Teaching the Fuzzy Giant how to do "Blue Steel"
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Did you see the flip I just did???
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Grocery Store Gothic
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Oh jingle bunny, you always make me giggle
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Nicely done photo taken by my sister

Farewell until our next meeting!
Isaac