How to Train Your Giants: The Chronicle of Isaac

Greetings!

My friends, although I do not find the time to write much, I think of you often. I regularly insist that The Giants write down my words to send to you, but in their haste they just write "Ba ba ba!" or "Mmmmm Mmmmm". It is not their fault and I place no blame upon them. They are often busy with Alice and myself.

It is important to sample the local wares, including sand.

I have been able to master much since I last wrote you. I am quite skilled in "cruising" around the furniture to find the things that bring joy to my heart. Other than my sister and The Giants, all of which I hold dear, I find myself spending my leisure time either banging on something or using something with buttons. The Fuzzy Giant often looks lost so I travel over to the Bin of Things and search for my trusty tambourine and play him a ditty to distract him from the certainty that he shortly will be wiping my bum. One of my favourite instruments is a heavy pot lid and a small metal ladle. There is something invigorating about the repeated clash of steel on steel.

Time to get the bluegrass band back together

Breaking bread with others can be a solemn time, filled with traditions. I have introduced the Ceremony of Offerings to the Floor Gods. Before starting to eat, I hold an offering of food in my hand, extend my arm from the side of my highseat and release the food. Long may the provisions bring strength and wisdom to the floor and let it forever support us. Ababy. The Giants play their part in the ceremony when they sweep and wipe up the offerings.

Traveling by sled is a thrill

One of the many ways which Alice and I have kept The Giants occupied is that we have spent a great deal of time trying to get sick. Alice is fortunate that she can go to playschool and get exposure to so many others, while I am limited so I must try to lick or put things in my mouth. Oftentimes Alice is generous and makes a conscience effort to share her cold with me. I pay it forward to The Giants. Just the other week I sneezed directly in The Fuzzy Giant's mouth while he was singing to me. Luckily the cold caught right away so I only had to do that once. I cannot really remember a time in which someone wasn't sick in this homestead. I would provide more details but there are some horrors that should not be written.

This Giant gives the best tickles

I oftentimes see a portal open that should normally be closed. Sometimes it leads into one of the rooms with the sleeping platforms, others into the room of porcelain and water. I am always thrilled to go and explore and I crawl with a rapid "fwap fwap fwap" of my palms against the floor. This seems to alert The Giants because time and again they swoop in and scoop me up. I get quite frustrated with repeatedly being stopped just as I near my goal.

Oooooh! Something that I'm not supposed to touch. Or rip off the wall. Again.

Another activity that I have been enjoying of late is the wanton destruction of simple foam based architecture. The Fuzzy Giant, and sometimes Alice, will construct a tower of blocks. As they marvel at their work they will frequently remark "It would be a shame if something happened to my tower...". I take that to be my cue to test how strong their tower actually is. To date it has never been very strong, as I topple it in seconds. At this they usually cry out "Oh no!" and then the process repeats. I am starting to question how much trust I should put in them if they are unable to build even a simple structure that will withstand a little abuse.