The Chronicle of Isaac - A Song For The Ages

Greeting friends!

Every time I cross paths with another traveler I like to exchange pleasantries with them. I do this because I want them to know that they are not alone in this world and we all have to care for our Giants. I commanded the Fuzzy Giant to transcribe one of my greetings so that it could be later turned into a ballad or epic poem. Here is a sample:

I have a new bike. [pause] It is a Star Wars bike, it is orange, Alice has a Maleficent bike, it is purple, I can go really fast in the road if I'm careful and it is safe because my daddy or mommy is there and I go ZOOOOOMMMM! really really fast, and I want a Thomas [the train] cake and it will be on an airplane and I will go pee on the airplane and HA HA HA and then the Thomas train on plane will go SWOOSH and then land on the water and then I will jump BLAM BLAM BLAM and then a basket ball and hockey soccer and then shoot and I go YAY ISAAC! and then baby you-cee (Lucy) will go waaaah! [mimes rubbing eyes] and then mommy will pick her up and then I say NO DADDY NURSE YOU-CEE and then I get mommy cuddles and we go on airplane very far away to yeg-oh yand (Lego land) and then I go in airplane really really high UP! and then go pee on the airplane and daddy goes "No!" and HAHAHAHA and then I go on my new bike and go really fast. [pause], ...

Farewell until our next meeting!
Isaac

The Wisdom of Lucy - A New Begining

Welcome back friends.

I've been told that you frequent this blog from time to time. I hope that you'll find what you're looking for. I feel that I've been here for a very long time, over 100,000 minutes by my count. I feel that some of those minutes have been taking a toll on me - I've lost some of my luscious hair already. I tell people that I just like to wear it short.

I've been getting to know the other regular sized people here. They have been quite welcoming, however they no longer seem to fight over holding me anymore. Not often anyways. They have been joining me for my exercises on my mat with the arches. I personally find the mirrors and spotted giraffe to be the most entertaining.

I enjoy the other people in my exercise class

I've taken up the local sport of "giant riding". I find it a bit restrictive for now, but when the cool wind blows it's quite snuggly. I'll often fall asleep and luckily The Giants know their way home without guidance. One thing that I will note: ensure that your Giant has not eaten anything like chili before being zipped up in the coat. It is... unpleasant and fragrant.

It helps to keep your nose out of the coat

I spend a lot of time in meditation these days while the other regular sized people and The Giants rush about me. They are always trying to get to and from school, the bus, playschool, and "running errands". I think that they would be a lot less tired if they just tried to walk errands, but no one has taken my suggestion yet. With all of the comforting activity going on about me, sometimes I'm startled by sudden silences. They frighten me and put me ill at ease causing me to protest.

The Giants dress me in eclectic attire. I can only describe it as princess-truck-fairy-dinosaur. It is warm though which I find reassuring. It has gotten cold of late here, dropping to around zero. I ask for assurance that it will not get much colder, but The Giants avoid my questions and the others just laugh and run away. I have found that we are going to celebrate a Halloween festival soon and it is required that I be dressed as an animal or similar. I won't argue with the locals, but it seems strange.

I am here, hear me roar.

As part of the local customs that I've been learning is that I can get simple tasks like a changed diapers changed if I just flash a smile. This also helps to be picked up, but has been less effective at getting a really good smoked meat sandwich with a dill pickle on the side. I will continue to try other facial expressions to get my sandwich and pickle.

I almost have that pickle...

The Chronicle of Isaac - A new member of the clan

Greeting friends!

Great deeds have been done since I last wrote to you and quite a passage of time.
We have a new member of our clan! Lucy has joined and will soon learn to revel with us as we play with dinosaurs and trains (two things I have found that I enjoy quite a lot). I very much enjoy patting her soft hair, showing her that she will be a brave like me by giving little kisses, and holding her for periods that extend up to a minute.

I am amused at this small human.

I have been having less different conflict with Alice than we used to in the past. The Giants no longer use the word "fratricide" on a weekly basis. She is working to show me how to inscribe the history of our people so that others will know of our great deeds as well as building great trains of duplo together.

This is the epic story of Alicegamesh and how she conquered the sky itself

Even the Food Giant assisted with the building of Our Great Train

 
One thing that I have been working on with The Giants is to instill a great work ethic. As such I have been getting the Fuzzy Giant up at 5 am every day (at the latest) for the last 2.5 years. The training is going well because on the few times that I sleep until 5:30 or even once to 6 am, the Fuzzy Giant is awake and staring at the ceiling. He no longer requires I wake him. On the other days he is able to prepare a great meal of raisin bran for me and navigate the house with his eyes still closed. This is truly a skill of a warrior.

Recently The Fuzzy Giant has stopped going to "work", and us to daycare. But I insist on starting our day just as early. The Giant mutters something about "letting the baby sleep" and will take Alice and me on a ride to a park to watch the sunrise and maintenance workers. Apparently The Fuzzy Giant has tracked about 750 km with us on the bike this year and over 1000 km total. He grumbles about missing tracking 60% of the rides with his phone app for the first two months of the season. I find this behaviour unbecoming of my transportation and will get up at 4 am tomorrow to punish him.

The best time to watch the ducks standing in the water at the top of the falls is around sunrise

I have to share the park with the tractor on the beach, seagulls, and many squirrels at 7 am.

While The Giants can move us quickly by other means, this is still my favourite mode

Alice today has started "ess-kay", or as The Giants refer to it, "senior kindergarten". I have missed her through the day with only three other humans to amuse me. I am to understand that I will begin "play school" starting next week for a couple of hours three days per week. I assume that they will teach the standard curriculum of hand-to-hand playground combat, advanced tricycle toss, and macramé.

The pain I feel from being apart from Alice can't be alleviated with a single ball pit. Two yes, but not just one.

Alice post SK on her first day

Farewell until our next meeting!
Isaac

From the desk of Alice and The Chronicle of Isaac: United against a common threat

My Dearest friends,

We have learned that this is the darkest of times. Darker than when the night light isn't plugged in or when I pretend I cannot open my eyes. With the news of this impending disaster Isaac and I have decided to set aside our differences and join forces against this new threat. I promised that I will only rarely show Isaac how to do things that will lead to injury and he has promised to only occasionally hold handfuls of my hair while pinning me to the ground. We have not been able to obtain detailed intel about the new threat, but we were able to recover a grainy image of the menace. We expect to meet this threat early August 2016. We will be ready.

It's difficult to tell from the photo, but this is the doom of our times.

I have informed The Giants that I will name the new baby. If it is a girl, then I will name her Elsa after my favourite character in Frozen. If it is a boy, then I will name him Elsa. I considered Sue, but that's a ridiculous name for a boy.

On a happier topic Isaac is able to converse more in a manner that reflects his role. Specifically as a minion. You know, those little yellow guys that desire ba-na-NA! Yes, Isaac speaks as those comically funny creatures and soon will fulfill his role of assisting me in world domination something totally harmless that doesn't require monitoring or investigation.

Lately I have been taking lessons in something that I believe is a martial art and will culminate in a to-the-death rink match. Every week The Giants take me to a rink where I strap on knife boots and go out on a frozen friction-less surface and learn the ritualistic moves of this ancient sport. I learn such techniques as "push forward", "red light green light", and "fishes in the ocean, fishes in the sea, we all stand up in 1... 2... 3!". I size up my competition knowing that one day I will have to do the dreaded "free skate" that everyone speaks about.

Me training Isaac about the Art of Knife Booting

When not being forced to wear knife boots, I spend much of my time in Jay-kay Big Kid School. I enjoy it very much. There has been some change over the school year. So far I am on my 2nd classroom, 3rd teacher, 3rd ECE and 5th bus driver. The Giants seem surprised by all these changes but I think that they are just becoming nervous because they are now realizing just how easily they can be replaced.

Since Isaac and I are in a partnership, I will now hand off the rest of the letter to him.
Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice

Greetings friends!

There have been great deeds afoot since we last spoke. I learned that our ranks will grow by one. My heart is glad about this news, but my mind is troubled. I had hoped to prevent this by never sleeping through the night and always starting my day at 5 am with no regard to how much sleep I've allowed anyone to have. The Giants seem to be of heartier stock than I had thought. With Alice giving The Giants trouble in the day, myself at night, we can only assume that the new arrival will give them trouble in some third time that the learned have only theorized of.

Working in partnership

I have been recently competing in the time honored game of sportball. It is a game of skill, talent, and the ability to chase the bubbles at the end. I feel honoured to take part in such an activity that holds a high place in our society. I know that each time I walk upon the floor in the community center that all, or at least some, eyes are on me willing me to make the winning choo-choo train sound or high five against the multipurpose ball. Such is the glory.

Sportball is all about the bubbles

Of late The Giants have restricted Alice and myself to the upper level of our dwelling while men labour in the basement to make a glorious hall for our activities. I am still new to this world, but I have learned that "five weeks" means 2.5 months. The Giants keep on mumbling about "wanting to see the floor again" and I simply run from one end of the room to the other to bring joy into their lives again. I am quite fast, so I have to pause on either end and wait for them to smile. It's the little touches like that which are important when training Giants.

Yours always,
Isaac