My Dearest friends,
It has been far too long since I have last written you. Many things have happened, but alas it is difficult for me to recall them all in detail. I have taken The Giants on many adventures and my training of them seems to be a Sisyphean task.
Since it's been so challenging for me to have time to sit down and write, I've enlisted The Fuzzy Giant to transcribe some of my thoughts so that they can be as a beacon of light of future generations. Here are some enlightened thoughts that I was conveying the other day. Alas he was a poor archivist and only was able to capture the beginning.
I saw Maleficent two and a half times and the scary part at the end she doesn't change back into a dragon at the end and then we ate ham-burr-ers and Aurora went and then I have streamers on my bike and one fell off because it was windy and then we threw it in the garbage and I had my face painted at the tulip festival and next time I see Aunty Valerie I can call her Rose because she calls me Alicio but Isaac can't do that because he's a baby and he knocks over my towers even when I say "NO ISAAC NO" he does and then I say "DOUBLE TIMEOUT" and then I go and play with my special jewelery and...
Trust me, that was but a fraction of my thoughts. I really must get a voice recorder.
Rather than writing a thousand words to describe some of my adventures, I thought that I would do "an almost year in review" with pictures instead, perhaps slightly out of order.
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| Vertical cannot contain my greatness. I must go horizontal |
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| It is important to patrol the neighbourhood in style |
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| It's important to keep your friends close... |
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| This is me instructing The Fuzzy Giant in the proper art of fancy running |
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| If you can get the angle just right, the swing will detach and transform into a robot |
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| Apparently this is how The Giants caught their food in the Before Times |
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| Swing until the set rolls |
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| Instructing Isaac in the formal art of napping with stuffies |
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| If you snuggle your pumpkin just right, it may turn into a carriage |
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| OR A MONSTER TO EAT YOU |
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| Isaac witnessing the true power of my yell. He may have filled his pants |
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| One small step for Alice. One giant leap for Alice-kind |
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| In this picture I am plotting revenge on The Giants for The Incident Involving No Cookies |
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| Most people don't realize that you need to ride a luck dragon behind the nostrils |
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| The movie star shot with the wind in your hair? This. |
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| The layout of rocks was all wrong. I was attempting to fix it by moving some into the river |
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| I was quite disappointed that The Giants wanted to share my single round piece |
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| "You see that island over there Giant? Not anymore! Bow before my awesome power!" |
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| This is where I made Lego Santa cry. I'm proud of that moment. |
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| They asked why I had to climb that stone elephant? BECAUSE IT WAS THERE. |
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| I clearly have a heightened sense of safety with respect to the ocean. It was both cold and wet. I must be carried |
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| You can see that I am annoyed that The Giants have forgotten I am the sole center of attention. They paid for it later, at great cost |
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| This is called "Grocery Store Gothic" and hangs in the Louvre |
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| Demonstrating to The Giants proper sun glasses technique |
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| A fairy dress, pink tutu, hat and novelty sunglasses. It's the latest in Milan |
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| Similar look, different accessories. As you do. |
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| I don't know how many times I told The Food Giant: bend your legs. Good Giants are so hard to find these days |
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| Again it was up to me to explain the dangers of the sea |
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| "And you shall fold my bed sheets like this. No, I don't care if you can't walk. Get it done!" |
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| I was told that they had cakes of pan served with the reduced blood of the maple tree. |
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| I toured with Cirque du Soleil for a season as a bubble blower. The cubic ones are the most difficult |
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| Always test to see if you would be successful with outrunning your Giant in case of bear or such like attacks |
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| I was attempting face paint for camouflage. Perhaps not my best first attempt |
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| When vacuuming, always wear the head of a robot to show the vacuum you mean business |
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| If caught by paparazzi, never make a nice smile |
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| This was my first day of play school. I was very excited to regularly spread my wisdom to new Giants. Just in case the current ones don't work out |
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| When finding a star with your name, own it. |
Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice
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