Below is my travel log from when The Giants took me to "Q-Bah" for a week. I originally transcribed my thoughts onto pages torn out of a "sky mall" and placed them into a bottle and cast it into the sea. Travel by bottle is slow, so it is just arriving to the internet now.
Day 1 - Alice takes flight
Today we left the house at the time in the afternoon where I normally lie down to re-energize before again dazzling The Giants with my many talents of speech and action. I was promised that I'd be able to rest my eyes for a quick snooze at the "air port", but when I set my eyes on that building I knew I would not be able to close them. The chairs! Chairs as far as the eye could see. I had to ensure that they were of sufficent quality so I endeavoured to test each one. This proved to be quite the challenge, because I was suffering a bit from a cold that made my nose run - and apparently Giants require you to wipe it on a tissue rather than anything else. Personally I enjoy a good Giant shoulder for a wet nose, but to each their own.
After the "air port" we sat in seats on a plane where I was only permitted to sit with the one of The Giants. I was not allowed to explore and test all the seats for quality. There could have been sub-par seats on that flight and no one would know. With it being so late, feeling under the weather as well as being too warm, I expressed my displeasure to The Giants and all of the other giants on that flight. I felt that they really should know.
The one positive thing about the flight that I enjoyed was the bouncing. Lots of bouncing. The Giants referred to it as "turbulence". When it stopped I would continue to bounce with the hopes of starting it again. After the plane landed we went through security and baggage at the airport. The natives recognized me as a VIP and asked me to the front of each line which was a kindness. After that, on to another transport to take us to the resort.
Day 2 - My growing fan club
It is nice to be in a place where other giants recognize how important I am. Every where we go there is someone in uniform that comes over to greet me and smile and talk to me. I must really talk to my Giants about being this pleasant all the time - including on those occasions at 3 am when I require them. Even the bright pink giants wondering around not in uniforms were quite pleasant and make me feel that I am the most important person here. Which I am.
I try to greet them all in the local dialect, of which I've only been able to master one word:"Hola!". I believe that it roughly translates to "You shall shower me with gifts. Bring all the stuffed animals from 100 km around and pay homage".
Day 3 - Water everywhere
Today The Giants took me to a great, warm, aqua coloured body of water with gentle waves breaking upon powdery white sand. There was energetic music playing softy in the background and a warm breeze lightly tossed my hair. I did not like it.
Later The Giants took me into the water to look for fishies which I greatly enjoyed. I commanded the fishies to perform for me, but alas they did not understand my clear instructions. The Giants and I then retired to the pool area where I showed The Giants the proper way to splash the water.
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| Me demonstrating the proper water mixing technique to The Food Giant |
Day 4 - A chair for every occasion
More of the same today. Took The Giants to the pool where I showed that I can walk on water. Then to the sea to show that I can fly far above The Giants heads. One thing that I did appreciate was that where ever I traveled there was a proper chair waiting for me: a chair by the pool, the sea, a "high chair" for meal times. I particularly enjoyed the area around the pool because it allowed quick access to test the different seating receptacles that I came across. After a long day of entertaining The Giants I put on my fancy clothes and took them out for a nice meal. I would have taken them out dancing as well but I was just worn out.
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| Walking on water is simple as long as you have the proper hat |
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| It is easier to spot fishies from a high vantage point |
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| The Giants kept on getting lost. I had to show them where everything was. |
Day 5 - The wildlife
Do not let the title fool you - the wildlife was around more than just on the fifth day. Each day I felt I would discover a new animal. There were birds overhead singing many different songs. There was occasionally a cat around that despite my calls ignored me - must be an unusual cat to not come when called. There were fishies in the sea and the ponds that I could watch. The Giants even took me to an area where horses would pull open carriages loaded with bright pink giants. Every time they would start to walk The Fuzzy Giant would say "Clippy clop! Clippy clop!". When we arrive back home I must contact his doctor and make an appointment for him.
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| Proper Deep Pool Swimming Technique (PDPST) |
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| In search of the elusive ankle shark |
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| Not only does it feel good between the toes, it feels great in the mouth |
Day 6 - Stairs
Today while I was showing The Giants the proper technique of going up and down stairs to optimize burning calories, a dance troop showed up on stage before me to practice. This was clearly serendipitous for them because it allowed me to observe and critique both their technique in addition to how they were able to convey emotional transcendence. Later we all went out for a nice meal and I exhibited the proper technique for breaking a plate and the end of a Greek meal. I think that The Giants were a bit distraught because we were not in fact at a Greek restaurant.
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| Instructing The Food Giant on the proper step technique |
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| This was taken right before I flipped The Fuzzy Giant over my head in a Kung Fu move where you only need access to your opponents left thumb. I call it "The Breaking Plate" |
Day 7 - The way back home
The last day was a reversal of the first - only I felt much better this time. We spent a lot of time waiting at the airport so I made it my duty to keep all the giants there entertained. I'd go around and allow them to get a hug from Mr. Duckie, or in the cases where I thought that they might have cookies, I'd ask to be picked up. At times I'd also try my comedic routine of "Lie on the Floor and Lick It", but The Fuzzy Giant wasn't happy with my impromptu shows. Great artists are never understood in their time.
The flight home was uneventful - I continued to entertain those around me using the few things that I had at my disposal such as water bottles, crayons for quick portraiture, and my ever helpful assistant Mr. Duckie. Overall it was a good time. I was glad that I was able to grace others with my presence and bring the light of my smile.
Until next time friends, adieu,
Alice
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| I was told that there were lots of waves on the beach. However I didn't see anyone waving there - only the loud surf. |
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| The natives' writing system consisted of a medium of towels and flowers |
