From The Council: 2016 in review

Greetings all.

We, the Normal Sized People (Alice, Isaac, and now Lucy), are writing you this holiday season to wish you good cheer and to provide a basic review of the last year since The Giants have failed to do so. Again.

The year started out as so many of them do - with a multi-month basement renovation. We now enjoy our playtime down there and The Fuzzy Giant hardly ever hits his head on the ceiling anymore. There is also a shower in the basement bathroom which allows Alice and Isaac to clean themselves with our loudest singing and minimal interference from The Giants.

The rest of the winter progressed with the usual Lego activities, laundry basket spaceships, and indoor and outside adventures. As time has gone on, we've come to the realization that we're not adversaries. Our true challenge is The Giants so we work together to thwart their plans, be it going shopping or having a good night's rest. One of the strategies we used for this last winter is to ensure at least 1 person (ideally 2-3) were sick the whole time. This is why the 2015 Christmas photos were taken at the end of March 2016.

Christmas tantrums are traditional

Around this time The Giants informed us that our numbers would grow again. We took this news with mixed feelings. We were both happy to finally outnumber them, but concerned that The Giants would have less time to devote to our every whim.

The Giants took us to British Columbia in May and we traveled to Victoria, Salt Spring Island, and Vancouver. We had a great time visiting Auntie Debbie and Uncle Jeff, exploring many different types of parks, and finding a mini train that we could ride in Stanley Park.

Isaac found Auntie Debbie and Uncle Jeff's company uplifting.

Back in Ottawa, we explored the Tulip Festival as usual. However we were most displeased by how The Giants left us in a tree and wandered off while mumbling something about fudge or Beavertails.

Being left in a tree will be reflected in their review

Here we are forced to have our picture taken in front of "the wedding tree".
Fortunately they did not leave us sitting in this tree.

Here Alice is instructing Isaac on exactly where to leave the things on the floor so The Giants will step on them.

Summer came, and with it Alice's time in Junior Kindergarten came to an end. The Giants needed another staff to fulfill my needs and desires. They found space at the same "care of day" where Isaac had been spending his time with other like-sized people. With the Transitway closed to buses, and a desire to avoid driving 45 minutes for 8 km, The Fuzzy Giant found an alternative way to transport us. We have learned that when we are moving it is best to sing "Sunny day" from Sesame Street as loud as we can.

Isaac would often let The Fuzzy Giant "hold" the steering device so he could feel important.

One thing that we have learned over our long years is that The Giants like to take pictures. Sometimes they even get other people to take pictures of us as a group. This is foolhardy because clearly The Giants are superfluous and not needed in the frame.

There are two too many people in this picture

This is clearly the correct number of people for the photo

In mid-August we met our newest recruit, Lucy. We both were a little bit disappointed that she didn't have a rocket launcher arm, laser eye, or the ability to fly, but we soon got over it. Except for the flying thing. We both grew enamoured and would often fight over who would get to hold her on a pillow. The Fuzzy Giant started to go to work less. On non-working days he would get up at Isaac-rise and whoever was awake would go to the park together and watch the sunrise. This allowed The Food Giant to get a bit of sleep with Lucy.

Neither of us could find the laser eye

Lucy with her softest sidekicks

Around this time Alice was due to go to Senior Kindergarten and Isaac started Playschool. It has been a daily struggle for Isaac to see the school bus yet not be allowed to ride on it. Alice has the same teacher as last year, which has worked out well because he understands her penchant for being fancy. He is one of the Giantest Giants, so The Fuzzy Giant literally looks up to him by 5". However, everyone is at the same level on what The Fuzzy Giant refers to "tiny chairs" in the classroom.

The Giants think we are wearing backpacks, but we know them as utility bags. Grappling hook optional.

It is always important to properly size the baby thought translator headband

Some of you might have seen us from the 417 off ramp.
Don't worry, this totally not for a weather controlling machine to be used for world domination. Not at all.

The Fuzzy Giant finally decided to share some of his Lego. We're happy with his social progress.  It also allows us the opportunity to work on prototypes for our space travel plans following world domination.

In order to roam far and wide, Isaac started to practice using a tricycle. He quickly became frustrated and kept on "borrowing" the neighbour's bike. The Giants determined after a month of peddling on the tricycle, it was time to graduate to a proper Big Kid bike. A Star Wars bike. Now we are able to move short distances at great speed. Only the wind and a Giant on a scooter can catch us.

We have formed the local bike gang

As the weather grew colder, we prepared ourselves. This was done at a pumpkin place where they have tiny novelty trains. As one does.

All aboard. Well, three of of five aboard!

Lucy looks distracted because she's trying to fish The Giant's car keys out of her pocket without her noticing

You would be surprised too if one day you discovered that you were a lion

Pumpkins are always shocking. Especially if you sit on them accidentally

Isaac has been studying in the art of Alicestry, that is doing everything that an Alice can do. Well, except for operating the weather control machine.

Teaching the martial art of ballet

After we practice monologuing, we then work on our maniacal laughter

Lucy wearing The Hat. We all had to take turns wearing it

We discuss it before hand to make sure that only 2/3 of us are looking at the camera at any one time.
Enough not to have a perfect picture and it gives The Giants hope that they will take a perfect photo.

Great family portraits come at a great cost.

We solemnly swear that we are up to no good.

We wish you and yours a happy 2017 and there is no need for you to worry that we will enact our plan of world domination. No need at all.

Love from the Land of The Giants
Alice, Isaac, and Lucy

From the desk of Alice and The Chronicle of Isaac: United against a common threat

My Dearest friends,

We have learned that this is the darkest of times. Darker than when the night light isn't plugged in or when I pretend I cannot open my eyes. With the news of this impending disaster Isaac and I have decided to set aside our differences and join forces against this new threat. I promised that I will only rarely show Isaac how to do things that will lead to injury and he has promised to only occasionally hold handfuls of my hair while pinning me to the ground. We have not been able to obtain detailed intel about the new threat, but we were able to recover a grainy image of the menace. We expect to meet this threat early August 2016. We will be ready.

It's difficult to tell from the photo, but this is the doom of our times.

I have informed The Giants that I will name the new baby. If it is a girl, then I will name her Elsa after my favourite character in Frozen. If it is a boy, then I will name him Elsa. I considered Sue, but that's a ridiculous name for a boy.

On a happier topic Isaac is able to converse more in a manner that reflects his role. Specifically as a minion. You know, those little yellow guys that desire ba-na-NA! Yes, Isaac speaks as those comically funny creatures and soon will fulfill his role of assisting me in world domination something totally harmless that doesn't require monitoring or investigation.

Lately I have been taking lessons in something that I believe is a martial art and will culminate in a to-the-death rink match. Every week The Giants take me to a rink where I strap on knife boots and go out on a frozen friction-less surface and learn the ritualistic moves of this ancient sport. I learn such techniques as "push forward", "red light green light", and "fishes in the ocean, fishes in the sea, we all stand up in 1... 2... 3!". I size up my competition knowing that one day I will have to do the dreaded "free skate" that everyone speaks about.

Me training Isaac about the Art of Knife Booting

When not being forced to wear knife boots, I spend much of my time in Jay-kay Big Kid School. I enjoy it very much. There has been some change over the school year. So far I am on my 2nd classroom, 3rd teacher, 3rd ECE and 5th bus driver. The Giants seem surprised by all these changes but I think that they are just becoming nervous because they are now realizing just how easily they can be replaced.

Since Isaac and I are in a partnership, I will now hand off the rest of the letter to him.
Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice

Greetings friends!

There have been great deeds afoot since we last spoke. I learned that our ranks will grow by one. My heart is glad about this news, but my mind is troubled. I had hoped to prevent this by never sleeping through the night and always starting my day at 5 am with no regard to how much sleep I've allowed anyone to have. The Giants seem to be of heartier stock than I had thought. With Alice giving The Giants trouble in the day, myself at night, we can only assume that the new arrival will give them trouble in some third time that the learned have only theorized of.

Working in partnership

I have been recently competing in the time honored game of sportball. It is a game of skill, talent, and the ability to chase the bubbles at the end. I feel honoured to take part in such an activity that holds a high place in our society. I know that each time I walk upon the floor in the community center that all, or at least some, eyes are on me willing me to make the winning choo-choo train sound or high five against the multipurpose ball. Such is the glory.

Sportball is all about the bubbles

Of late The Giants have restricted Alice and myself to the upper level of our dwelling while men labour in the basement to make a glorious hall for our activities. I am still new to this world, but I have learned that "five weeks" means 2.5 months. The Giants keep on mumbling about "wanting to see the floor again" and I simply run from one end of the room to the other to bring joy into their lives again. I am quite fast, so I have to pause on either end and wait for them to smile. It's the little touches like that which are important when training Giants.

Yours always,
Isaac

From the desk of Alice - Wisdom from the ripe old age of 3.5

My Dearest friends,

It has been far too long since I have last written you. Many things have happened, but alas it is difficult for me to recall them all in detail. I have taken The Giants on many adventures and my training of them seems to be a Sisyphean task.

Since it's been so challenging for me to have time to sit down and write, I've enlisted The Fuzzy Giant to transcribe some of my thoughts so that they can be as a beacon of light of future generations. Here are some enlightened thoughts that I was conveying the other day. Alas he was a poor archivist and only was able to capture the beginning.

I saw Maleficent two and a half times and the scary part at the end she doesn't change back into a dragon at the end and then we ate ham-burr-ers and Aurora went and then I have streamers on my bike and one fell off because it was windy and then we threw it in the garbage and I had my face painted at the tulip festival and next time I see Aunty Valerie I can call her Rose because she calls me Alicio but Isaac can't do that because he's a baby and he knocks over my towers even when I say "NO ISAAC NO" he does and then I say "DOUBLE TIMEOUT" and then I go and play with my special jewelery and...

Trust me, that was but a fraction of my thoughts. I really must get a voice recorder.

Rather than writing a thousand words to describe some of my adventures, I thought that I would do "an almost year in review" with pictures instead, perhaps slightly out of order.

Vertical cannot contain my greatness. I must go horizontal

It is important to patrol the neighbourhood in style

It's important to keep your friends close...

This is me instructing The Fuzzy Giant in the proper art of fancy running

If you can get the angle just right, the swing will detach and transform into a robot

Apparently this is how The Giants caught their food in the Before Times

Swing until the set rolls

Instructing Isaac in the formal art of napping with stuffies

If you snuggle your pumpkin just right, it may turn into a carriage

OR A MONSTER TO EAT YOU

Isaac witnessing the true power of my yell. He may have filled his pants

One small step for Alice. One giant leap for Alice-kind

In this picture I am plotting revenge on The Giants for The Incident Involving No Cookies

Most people don't realize that you need to ride a luck dragon behind the nostrils

The movie star shot with the wind in your hair? This.

The layout of rocks was all wrong. I was attempting to fix it by moving some into the river

I was quite disappointed that The Giants wanted to share my single round piece

"You see that island over there Giant? Not anymore! Bow before my awesome power!"

This is where I made Lego Santa cry. I'm proud of that moment.

They asked why I had to climb that stone elephant? BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.

I clearly have a heightened sense of safety with respect to the ocean. It was both cold and wet. I must be carried

You can see that I am annoyed that The Giants have forgotten I am the sole center of attention. They paid for it later, at great cost

This is called "Grocery Store Gothic" and hangs in the Louvre

Demonstrating to The Giants proper sun glasses technique

A fairy dress, pink tutu, hat and novelty sunglasses. It's the latest in Milan

Similar look, different accessories. As you do.

I don't know how many times I told The Food Giant: bend your legs. Good Giants are so hard to find these days

Again it was up to me to explain the dangers of the sea

"And you shall fold my bed sheets like this. No, I don't care if you can't walk. Get it done!"

I was told that they had cakes of pan served with the reduced blood of the maple tree.

I toured with Cirque du Soleil for a season as a bubble blower. The cubic ones are the most difficult

Always test to see if you would be successful with outrunning your Giant in case of bear or such like attacks

I was attempting face paint for camouflage. Perhaps not my best first attempt

When vacuuming, always wear the head of a robot to show the vacuum you mean business

If caught by paparazzi, never make a nice smile

This was my first day of play school. I was very excited to regularly spread my wisdom to new Giants. Just in case the current ones don't work out

When finding a star with your name, own it.

Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice