Sunday, 1 April 2012

From the desk of Alice

My dear friends,

Being back in the Great White North has taken some adjustment but I believe that I've been doing well. The giants have kept me comfortable by the fire and amused by an abundance of toys. However the fuzzy giant has been complaining of a "cold", but I feel that he is just shirking his duties by forcing the other staff to take up his slack. In his next evaluation form I will be quite blunt about my disappointment. Due to this "cold", we've isolated ourselves from visitors which meant that I participated in a video conference call today. I believe that my contributions were well received based on how insightful they were.

This afternoon the giants decided to place me into a "pack and play" containment room. I have not yet figured out what phrase will drop the force fields, but I have tried all the common ones from "bird whistles", "babbling brook", and "wet raspberry". More investigation is needed and I will consult my research giraffe.

On several occasions the giants placed me in a harness where I could dangle and bounce for the staff's amusement. They call it a "Jolly Jumper". I quite enjoy it and I even forget sometimes that the giants are there. At a certain point my training from cirque du soleil takes over and I am a fluid expression of art and the balance of water and light. I then expressed my fluids, which creates an impressive display under the pressure of the harness. On a related note I've contemplated dabbling in dying of textiles.

I must end our correspondence now as I've shuffled onto my research giraffe and I can no longer ignore her squeaks of protest.

Lovingly yours,
Alice

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