From the desk of Alice and The Chronicle of Isaac: United against a common threat

My Dearest friends,

We have learned that this is the darkest of times. Darker than when the night light isn't plugged in or when I pretend I cannot open my eyes. With the news of this impending disaster Isaac and I have decided to set aside our differences and join forces against this new threat. I promised that I will only rarely show Isaac how to do things that will lead to injury and he has promised to only occasionally hold handfuls of my hair while pinning me to the ground. We have not been able to obtain detailed intel about the new threat, but we were able to recover a grainy image of the menace. We expect to meet this threat early August 2016. We will be ready.

It's difficult to tell from the photo, but this is the doom of our times.

I have informed The Giants that I will name the new baby. If it is a girl, then I will name her Elsa after my favourite character in Frozen. If it is a boy, then I will name him Elsa. I considered Sue, but that's a ridiculous name for a boy.

On a happier topic Isaac is able to converse more in a manner that reflects his role. Specifically as a minion. You know, those little yellow guys that desire ba-na-NA! Yes, Isaac speaks as those comically funny creatures and soon will fulfill his role of assisting me in world domination something totally harmless that doesn't require monitoring or investigation.

Lately I have been taking lessons in something that I believe is a martial art and will culminate in a to-the-death rink match. Every week The Giants take me to a rink where I strap on knife boots and go out on a frozen friction-less surface and learn the ritualistic moves of this ancient sport. I learn such techniques as "push forward", "red light green light", and "fishes in the ocean, fishes in the sea, we all stand up in 1... 2... 3!". I size up my competition knowing that one day I will have to do the dreaded "free skate" that everyone speaks about.

Me training Isaac about the Art of Knife Booting

When not being forced to wear knife boots, I spend much of my time in Jay-kay Big Kid School. I enjoy it very much. There has been some change over the school year. So far I am on my 2nd classroom, 3rd teacher, 3rd ECE and 5th bus driver. The Giants seem surprised by all these changes but I think that they are just becoming nervous because they are now realizing just how easily they can be replaced.

Since Isaac and I are in a partnership, I will now hand off the rest of the letter to him.
Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice

Greetings friends!

There have been great deeds afoot since we last spoke. I learned that our ranks will grow by one. My heart is glad about this news, but my mind is troubled. I had hoped to prevent this by never sleeping through the night and always starting my day at 5 am with no regard to how much sleep I've allowed anyone to have. The Giants seem to be of heartier stock than I had thought. With Alice giving The Giants trouble in the day, myself at night, we can only assume that the new arrival will give them trouble in some third time that the learned have only theorized of.

Working in partnership

I have been recently competing in the time honored game of sportball. It is a game of skill, talent, and the ability to chase the bubbles at the end. I feel honoured to take part in such an activity that holds a high place in our society. I know that each time I walk upon the floor in the community center that all, or at least some, eyes are on me willing me to make the winning choo-choo train sound or high five against the multipurpose ball. Such is the glory.

Sportball is all about the bubbles

Of late The Giants have restricted Alice and myself to the upper level of our dwelling while men labour in the basement to make a glorious hall for our activities. I am still new to this world, but I have learned that "five weeks" means 2.5 months. The Giants keep on mumbling about "wanting to see the floor again" and I simply run from one end of the room to the other to bring joy into their lives again. I am quite fast, so I have to pause on either end and wait for them to smile. It's the little touches like that which are important when training Giants.

Yours always,
Isaac

The Chronicle of Isaac - On More Equal Footing

Greeting friends!

The weather grows colder. I feel that I have some time to put down some words for glory and prosperity. Since my last letter a few things have changed other than the weather. I started at a new daycare "Down of Town". There are quite a lot of other normal sized people with many less Giants than I am used to. They even have properly sized tables and chairs and every day I am greeted with hugs and snacks. The Fuzzy Giant has informed me that I am not able to "trade parents" or "be adopted by the daycare workers", but I think that he is just trying to secure his job.

This is how the 3 of us would travel Down of Town for daycare

Alice has started "Big Kid School". She rides the big yellow bus which I am quite excited about every time we see it. Three days of the week The Fuzzy Giant and I journey to this Big Kid School and pick up Alice from After Care. She is forced to bring her own snacks from home and I don't think that she is greeted with a hug every time she enters. She's often in my thoughts.

I have noticed a change in Alice. Ever since school started she plays with me and doesn't always try to remove the toys that I am holding. There's even been a change in The Giants - they have been muttering "attempted fratricide" a lot less.

We are taking the dollies for a walk. When I get tired I climb into the wagon and request a pull

Having said that, I'm also better on my feet and stronger all the time. I don't do it often, but I can pin Alice down and pull her hair to incapacitate her. I usually find I don't need to take it to this extreme, and usually only resort to hitting her on head and or pulling her hair. The Fuzzy Giant has a rule: if you can reach your sibling, you are too close.

I love my sister very much, even when she doesn't give me personal space

The Giants have been nervous about how many words that I have, so I decided to gain a whole bunch just before a "milestone". I have words like truck, car, bus, dog, bread, milk, please, thank you, balloon, beluga, and dooooooooor! (It is from a song in Frozen). Although I also have the words "yes" and "no", I prefer to bow respectfully for "yes" and glare disrespectfully for "no".

I enjoy dressing up as a leaf pirate with a hat eye patch. Arrr!

Another thing that I still enjoy is waking up in the night at least once. I know a lot of the other normal sized people don't put in the effort, but I feel that it is worth it. I think that The Giants do as well. You can tell that I've done a good job when The Giants are walking into walls, repeating themselves, and complaining about their brains being "fuzzy" and "cloudy".

I believe Alice and The Food Giant are experiencing an earth quake

Now I must be off. I must practice my nighttime cry to make sure that it conveys the proper emotional gravity.

Yours always,
Isaac

The Chronicle of Isaac - THAT

Greeting friends!

I find that I do not often have time to compose my thoughts, so please forgive me. This is a busy time in which we live. I often find myself traveling to strange lands such as The Pad of Splash or The Ground of Play. Travel is often done in my chariot pulled by a trusty Giant or in a seat where I control the brakes and sounding bell. I often inform the pathland bunnies that I have come with a "THAT!" or "DAT!". They rejoice by running into the shrubbery and doing whatever bunnies do when they see an Isaac sized human controlling a large bicycle.

I'm quite concerned The Fuzzy Giant is not paying attention to where we are headed. I shall ring the bell to alert the others.

The first step of going down a slide is to climb to the top. One stair at a time.

I have taken up the sport of "basket ball" and enjoy bouncing a ball. If I am being carried by The Fuzzy Giant I enjoy throwing the ball towards the ground where it bounces up to me and can be caught again by The Giant to be handed back to me for another round. This amuses me greatly. In times that The Giants have forgotten to bring a ball to a park, I have been known to approach the local sport player and join in with a quick game. They were quite impressed with my ball handling and passing abilities. True story.

I have been approached from this "Harlem" team to join them. I will not.

I am enjoying this thing that The Giants call "running". I often employ it when I know I will soon be stopped for doing something, such as throwing a toothbrush into the toilet. It is a game, which I know I will win someday.

A set of games that I have mixed emotions about are the ones lead by my sister. They include:

• Knock Down Your Brother
• Sit On Your Brother
• Take A Toy Away From Your Brother That He Was Enjoying Very Much

I do not relish these.

Working together to build a blockier future.

The Giants continue to press me to speak more words. I do not understand the need since I can be understood with my vocabulary of "dat", "that", "tthat", "daat", "ba", and of course "dthat". I know what I mean and The Giants can usually get it in three guesses. I understand that my sister was speaking Spanish by this age. However, I do not believe that she was able to "dunk" basketballs.

Here the Food Giant is pushing me on "dat" while we watch as the other children splash in the "dat".

Farewell until our next meeting!
Isaac 

Recovered Giant Artifact #54 - I Dreamed a Dream

Item: ink on coffee and tear stained paper
Recovery date: 2015-05-30
Analysis:  Appears to be a modification of "I Dreamed a Dream" is a song from Les Misérables.

There was a time when kids slept long
When their voices were soft
And their words babbling
There was a time when love was quiet
And the world was a song
And the song was Raffi
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in sleep gone by
When hope was high
And sleep worth having
I dreamed that love would never cry
I dreamed that kids would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no snuggles to be paid
No song unsung, no hot beverages untasted

But the children come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your sleep apart
As they turn your dream to awake

He slept a year by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took his childhood with me for a ride
But he wasn't gone when morning came

And still I dream he'll sleep without me
That we will sleep the nights in our rooms
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my sleep would be
So different from this fog I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now cries have killed the dream I was dreaming

From the desk of Alice - Wisdom from the ripe old age of 3.5

My Dearest friends,

It has been far too long since I have last written you. Many things have happened, but alas it is difficult for me to recall them all in detail. I have taken The Giants on many adventures and my training of them seems to be a Sisyphean task.

Since it's been so challenging for me to have time to sit down and write, I've enlisted The Fuzzy Giant to transcribe some of my thoughts so that they can be as a beacon of light of future generations. Here are some enlightened thoughts that I was conveying the other day. Alas he was a poor archivist and only was able to capture the beginning.

I saw Maleficent two and a half times and the scary part at the end she doesn't change back into a dragon at the end and then we ate ham-burr-ers and Aurora went and then I have streamers on my bike and one fell off because it was windy and then we threw it in the garbage and I had my face painted at the tulip festival and next time I see Aunty Valerie I can call her Rose because she calls me Alicio but Isaac can't do that because he's a baby and he knocks over my towers even when I say "NO ISAAC NO" he does and then I say "DOUBLE TIMEOUT" and then I go and play with my special jewelery and...

Trust me, that was but a fraction of my thoughts. I really must get a voice recorder.

Rather than writing a thousand words to describe some of my adventures, I thought that I would do "an almost year in review" with pictures instead, perhaps slightly out of order.

Vertical cannot contain my greatness. I must go horizontal

It is important to patrol the neighbourhood in style

It's important to keep your friends close...

This is me instructing The Fuzzy Giant in the proper art of fancy running

If you can get the angle just right, the swing will detach and transform into a robot

Apparently this is how The Giants caught their food in the Before Times

Swing until the set rolls

Instructing Isaac in the formal art of napping with stuffies

If you snuggle your pumpkin just right, it may turn into a carriage

OR A MONSTER TO EAT YOU

Isaac witnessing the true power of my yell. He may have filled his pants

One small step for Alice. One giant leap for Alice-kind

In this picture I am plotting revenge on The Giants for The Incident Involving No Cookies

Most people don't realize that you need to ride a luck dragon behind the nostrils

The movie star shot with the wind in your hair? This.

The layout of rocks was all wrong. I was attempting to fix it by moving some into the river

I was quite disappointed that The Giants wanted to share my single round piece

"You see that island over there Giant? Not anymore! Bow before my awesome power!"

This is where I made Lego Santa cry. I'm proud of that moment.

They asked why I had to climb that stone elephant? BECAUSE IT WAS THERE.

I clearly have a heightened sense of safety with respect to the ocean. It was both cold and wet. I must be carried

You can see that I am annoyed that The Giants have forgotten I am the sole center of attention. They paid for it later, at great cost

This is called "Grocery Store Gothic" and hangs in the Louvre

Demonstrating to The Giants proper sun glasses technique

A fairy dress, pink tutu, hat and novelty sunglasses. It's the latest in Milan

Similar look, different accessories. As you do.

I don't know how many times I told The Food Giant: bend your legs. Good Giants are so hard to find these days

Again it was up to me to explain the dangers of the sea

"And you shall fold my bed sheets like this. No, I don't care if you can't walk. Get it done!"

I was told that they had cakes of pan served with the reduced blood of the maple tree.

I toured with Cirque du Soleil for a season as a bubble blower. The cubic ones are the most difficult

Always test to see if you would be successful with outrunning your Giant in case of bear or such like attacks

I was attempting face paint for camouflage. Perhaps not my best first attempt

When vacuuming, always wear the head of a robot to show the vacuum you mean business

If caught by paparazzi, never make a nice smile

This was my first day of play school. I was very excited to regularly spread my wisdom to new Giants. Just in case the current ones don't work out

When finding a star with your name, own it.

Until next time, lovingly yours,
Alice