How to Train Your Giants: From the desk of Alice

My Dearest friends,

I continue to test new techniques whilst training The Giants. I've come to the belief that you need to be firm with them and not allow them to test their freedom too much. My latest way to provide them guidance is to answer a firm "No" to any question. This way even if I change my answer to the question ten seconds later, they can only be delighted with my response, never let down. Truth be told, I am often amused by the look of their faces with my lightening quick reply.

The Giants have for some time now been trying to get me to practice using a "swing" at the park. I have not understood the utility of it. The emergency slides make sense, but how can you effectively use a swing to get you out of a risky situation? It just places you right back when you swing back; but I digress. After much coaching from The Giants, I came to the conclusion that it is just a seat. Well, I very much enjoy seats so I allowed myself to swing in it. Much to my surprise, I very much enjoyed it and I encouraged The Giants to also partake in the boisterous oscillation.

In my journeys we often come across other normal sized people. When we do, The Giants strongly encourage me to "share" with them. I'm not quite sure what the purpose is because it seems that I am forever giving up my hard earned discoveries like a plastic bucket or a green toy car. In order to try to appease The Giants I often show the item that is in my possession and when the other normal sized person reaches for it, I quickly pull the item back. I feel that this is the best of both worlds: a sharing ritual has been initiated and I still retain custody of the item.

At the local park they have a "wading pool". I'm not sure who Wade is, but I am grateful that he looks after the pool. We often go there as it allows me to soak my weary feet after all the emergency slide drills. Recently I have taken up the Art of Surfing (aside: I have a book on the topic coming out in the fall). I simply alight upon a surf board and make "vrrrmmm vrrrmmm" sounds until I'm pulled quickly around the pool.

Towel Off is a favourite activity for The Giants

Giant Assisted Surfing or GAS for short.

I've noticed that The Giants sometimes have difficultly keeping the house as clean as I demand. I suspect that if they just stopped moving things out of my reach they would have more time to clean the house and perhaps write me a sonnet. I've decided to help out some by vacuuming. The handle was clearly made for normal sized people, unlike the boom. It's a little task, but one that I hope will allow The Giants to focus on more important things. Namely me.