How to Train Your Giants: From the desk of Alice

My Dearest friends,

It is time for another correspondence with the latest developments. Lately when The Giants make me state my name as part of the daily interrogation, I no longer stare at them with sullen eyes. I state my full name. For some reason The Giants hear is as "sah sah", but it is clearly "Alice". This amuses them, which does bring a bit of joy to me as well. I think that I'm suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

As the year draws to a close, The Giants have insisted on bundling me up and taking me around the neighbourhood to see the lights on the houses. I do enjoy this, but my favourite thing is riding around on the Fuzzy Giant's shoulders and drumming on his head. When I grow bored with that, I ride around with The Food Giant. I delight in this because of the fur lined hood she has. It feels tickly on my face.

All of this decoration in the Giant Realm is in preparation for a holiday that The Giants refer to as "Christmas". Apparently I have seen this holiday before but I can't seem to recall it. The Giants have some sort of large conifer which they have enveloped in lights and trinkets. The sparkling shrub is certainly a wonder to behold, but alas, it is behind bars and out of my reach.

The Christmas celebration was quite enjoyable. There were games of peek-a-boo with Opa, tasty treats and lots of time to play with the pseudo-giants, my "cousins". I also received many gifts. The other giants were far too generous.

Me and the pseudo-giants

Playing peek-a-boo with Opa. FYI: I won.

I am enjoying myself. However, I still plan my escape and test the surroundings constantly. I think that I am quite close at devising the initiation sequence of the "door knob" to open doors. I'm particularly interested in this because behind one of the doors, The Giants have a key component for my weather machine, known as a "door-stop". It's really surprising that they can use advanced technology and not even recognize it.

Another part of my training regime is to disassemble block towers into their base components. I'd enlighten you on the utility of this, but I fear that the information would fall into the wrong hands if our correspondence were to be intercepted. In addition to those tasks, I've been trying to stockpile provisions. I started by hiding foodstuffs in my cheeks, but The Giants soon became wise to that. I then started to hide the food in my hand, lap, nooks of my tray, and even under my pants. Unfortunately, my sleight of hand was noticed by The Fuzzy Giant, and he relieved me of my hard gotten supplies.

My task of becoming fluent in Giantese continues to progress. I may not know the meaning of all words right away, but I start by parroting the sound. After I do learn the meaning, I can command The Giants to my will. Sometimes they do not understand what I've said, so I repeat the word slightly louder and slower in hopes that they will catch on. Alas, it is not always so.

It pleases the Fuzzy Giant when I call him "Da-da", and the Food Giant seems to appreciate "Ma-ma". I am also learning to say the names of other familiar giants, like Grandpa (Pa-pa) and Opa. I have more work to do on "Grandma" and "Oma", but I do recognize these giants, and look to them when their names are mentioned. Generally these are fruitful efforts, as I seem to receive additional attention and transportation around the home as a result.

The Giants have been taking me out in the "snow". It is quite cool, but I have been enjoying it, if only to learn that it will make a poor choice for a building material for any land vehicle. Just today The Giants placed me in a red and yellow capsule and pulled me through the snow. I'm not sure how long this continued, because I fell asleep almost immediately, and I was not wakened until my removal from the capsule by the giants.