Tuesday, 19 June 2012

From the desk of Alice - Day 209

My Dearest friends,

Please forgive the lull in my letters. The days have been blurring together, but when I look back upon it, I can see that much has happened since the last time we corresponded. At the half year anniversary of my birth The Giants started to serve me "solid" food. It must be severely overcooked because it's more of a puree than anything that I'd normally classify as "food". For the most part it has been pleasant, even though The Giants try to try to feed me like I'm an invalid. I try to explain that I'm more than capable of feeding myself, but they just smile and don't seem to understand. Rather than getting angry, I just look at it as an opportunity to have a full body oatmeal scrub. It's like a day at the spa.

I've also mastered the art of sitting up. Occasionally, the floor conspires against me and comes rushing up, but The Giants have usually placed a pillow where the floor means to strike me. At night The Giants place me in a barred cell. I had just conquered reaching for the top bar and I figured that in a short time I would be able to lower myself to the floor using several receiving blankets tied together. Then a setback: the giants lowered the level of my cell so that the bars reach almost to the heavens and my soother makes for a poor grappling hook.

My continuing efforts to communicate with The Giants have garnered mixed results. They have deduced that when I say "Da da da!" I am generally happy. When I make sounds that start with an N sound, I am generally unhappy and most likely, embarrassingly, soiled myself. They have not yet figured out what the meaning of "ba ba ba!" is yet, much to my disappointment.

Bath time has improved since The Giants have provided me something with which to keep my hands busy. Before, all I could do is stare at the cold, white walls whilst I was unceremoniously scrubbed of all the food  that I had carefully stored behind my ears for later consumption. Now I have a bright plastic cup with a whirligig attached inside of it. I have not inferred the original purpose, but I'm sure that it's a tool related to processing copper ore.

The Giants keep on discussing something called "teething" and that it's happening right now. There is a lot of crying and moodiness in the house right now. So much so that I can hardly compose anything on my music table. They are starting to damage my calm. I try to drown out The Giants' cries by chewing on something. Ideally rubber-based so that the squeaks block them out.

The hour is late so I must say adieu. I miss you all.

Yours dearly,
Alice

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